Mrs Evans
by Girl in a Frosties Box
Summary: Our beloved teen trio just installed some equipment for Dr. Quest in the Arctic and now is waiting for the adults to meet up… What could possibly go wrong in between? Vignette, Humor, One-Shot.


**Summary:** Our beloved teen trio just installed some equipment for Dr. Quest in the Arctic and now is waiting for the adults to meet up… What could possibly go wrong in between? ;)

**Categories:** Vignette, Humor.

**Rating:** M.

**Warning:** Mature! Cursing and sexual innuendos, but no violence. Well, apart from Jonny getting his ass kicked by Jessie ;)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own any of the characters, not trying to make any money, please don't sue, etc.

**Author's Notes:** Hey y'all! So, this is my first fic in 10 or more years… Jonny Quest was a passion of mine growing up, and it actually got me into learning English and a lot more. I was thinking about that just the other day, and all of a sudden I wanted to get in touch with the TRA:JQ world again. I think I read most of the fics on , Suze's Archives, and others I could put my hands on… Now it's time to start writing my own again! Hope you enjoy it! One more important thing, though… THANK YOU, Aspen Shiyan, for beta reading this! Your tips were gold! I'll always have them in mind when writing!

So, without further ado…

**~*~*~*~*~ MRS. EVANS ~*~*~*~*~**

"Wee-haaa! Guyss, this is so much *fun*! This new boat is so *easy* to pilot! Look what I can do!"

"Jonny, my friend, I really think you should go slower..."

"Oh Hadj, don't be such a buzz killer! I can even do a 180! Watch it! WEEE-HAAAA!"

"Jonny, stop that! it's cold and I'm getting sea sick you moro..."

"Uh-oh..." Hadji widened his eyes as a colorful blur quickly passed from the seats at the back at the boat to the depths of the sea. It all seemed to go in slow motion.

"Hadji, what is it?" Following Hadji's gaze, Jessie turned around just in time to see all her stuff - backpack and sleeping bag - being thrown into the freezing arctic ocean, in a very slo-mo way.

"What? What happened?" Jonny quickly stopped the boat and turned around, worried. All he saw were bubbles coming from the sea as something went down fast. *Uh-oh...*

"JONATHAN BENTON QUEST, I'm gonna *KILL* YOU!"

"What was that? Did someth... Heyy, get OFF of me! Jess ughh stop hitting me! Ouch! Please!"

"You stupid moronic bleach head! I. cannot. believe. all. my. stuff. is. GONE! I'm gonna KILL YOU!"

"Ouch! OUCH! My hair! Stop pulling it! Ouch that hurts! Hadj, HELP!"

Hadji just watched, amused, as his friend got his ass beaten by the furious nineteen-year-old red head. It was, indeed, rather amusing, and he couldn't quite stop grinning. "You, my friend, brought this on yourself... 'The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction'" He added, cryptically.

"What's that even supposed to mean? Ugh, Jessie, I...can..'t...bre...ath...e!" Jessie finally let go of Jonny, with one last *thud* to his head, sitting heavily on the floor by his side, exhausted by all the beating.

"Just... let me catch my breath... I ain't done with you, Quest!" She breathed heavily, her angry face all red. Hadji continued to watch amused. All that was missing was some popcorn. His friends' fights were always fun to watch, especially when what caused it was Jonny's impulsiveness.

"Jessie, as a concerned friend let me remind you that you will be sleeping out in the cold tonight... Your sleeping bag is *go-o-one*!" Hadji said nonchalantly, singing the last word, a smug grin on his face. Oh yeah, he liked to see the circus on fire every once in a while. He could be a yogi, but he was also a teen.

"WTF Hadj, which side are you on? I thought you were *my* broth... Ouch, stop hitting me Jessie! I'm sorry, I'm sorryyy!" Suddenly, Jessie stopped slapping Jonny and got up fast.

"You know what, I won't tire myself out. The one that's going to sleep out in the cold tonight is our dearly beloved bleach head here. It's only fair *I* sleep in your sleeping bag after what you've done with mine!"

"No way! Ouch! I mean, ok, ok! We'll see about that! We still have got some hours to dawn, I'm sure we'll work it out!"

"Oh, *you* will work out... I hear physical exercises are a great way to keep the body heated... You know, since it's so cold now and it will be much colder later... And while you do it, I'll be happily sleeping in your little warm and cozy sleeping bag!" Jessie pinched Jonny's cheek, a sweet smile on her face.

"Our dads will be here soon, it won't come to that! Right?"

"Jonny, I think Dr. Quest and Race will not be here until tomorrow morning... It took us long enough to get to the spot Dr. Quest told us to install the equipment… I think it could be a really cold night for you, my friend…" Jonny's mouth hanged open. Hadji had a funny stupid little grin in his face that Jonny couldn't quite believe. Was he actually enjoying the mess he'd gotten into? *Controlled mature yogi my ass!*

"Oh man..." Jonny sighed, helplessness becoming his face. He looked to Jessie, who also had a huge smug grin plastered on her face, and then up to the afternoon clear sky... It was going to be a long day, and an especially long night.

"Are tents getting harder to pitch, or am I getting worse?"

"Well, the wind isn't helping… Ugh!"

"I hear ya, Jonny… Thank GOD we're finished though, I've never been colder in my life! Hadj, help me here will'ya?"

"Sure, Jessie… That was indeed harder than I expected." The dark skinned boy helped Jessie bury further down into the snow mass one of the tents' pole. "Ugh… Done! Now, let us all get inside, for 'who am I to blow against the wind?`" Hadji sighed prophetically.

"There he goes again…" Jonny shook his head in disbelief as he entered the tent. They had already thrown inside the single sleeping bags, now in the total amount of two.

"So… how's this gonna be?" Jonny asked looking from the bags to their friends.

"Well, Hotshot, be my guest to lay on the floor and watch me and Hadji each sleep in our warm and cozy sleeping bags" The redhead said with a grin on her face as she got down on the floor, ready to get inside Jonny's sleeping bag, now hers. "Or, you know… you and Hadji could share his", she added with an evil smile.

"No way!" Both boys cried at the same time. Jonny then continued, with a smug lopsided grin on his face, "But maybe *you* and I could share a bag… You're tinier and, besides, that *is* *my* sleeping bag".

Hadji's lips were curling up into a smug smile too. A soft chuckle escaped his lips. He got inside his sleeping bag quietly and put his hands behind his head, getting nestled to enjoy the evening's entertainment.

Jessie was getting inside the other sleeping bag as well. "Yeah, in your dreams, Quest… Hmmm… Wow, Jonny, you never told me! This sleeping bag is sooooo amazing! I can't believe how soft and warm it is! Hmmm… *Much* better than my last one! Thanks, Bleach Head! And now good night… I'm absolutely *exhausted*… Thankfully my *new* bag will provide me with an excellent night of sleep. Ta ta!"

"Ooh, come on! Jessie, Jessiiieee, *pleasee*, pretty pretty please…" Jonny was down on his knees begging her with puppy eyes now. "I'll do anything, seriously, I'll be your bitch for a month, but please don't let me sleep out here in the cold! I'll freeze to death!"

"Jonny, do not be so dramatic… You will probably only get frostbites", Hadji said smiling innocently.

The blond boy gulped loud and started shaking his redhead friend. "JESSIEEE! PLEASE! I promise I won't move an inch, it will be as if I was as far away as possible, and I'll still be your bitch for a month… Actually, make that two!"

"Hmmm… I don't know… But then again, this sleeping bag is really small… Well, I suppose… Ok, let's make it 3 months of total and absolute servitude from your white ass to me and I guess we could try to fit you here"

"YES! Jess, you're the best! I owe ya! Now move over 'coz I'm freezing!"

"Hey hey hey, I said we were going to *try* to fit you here! I never promised I'd let you sta… Ouch! Quest, what the hell are you doing? Ouch you're crush…ing… me!"

"Ouch! Jess, move a bit to the right, will ya? Ugh I had the impression this bag was a little bigger!"

"OUCH my kidneys! Gee move out from my arm! Watch my hair! OUCH!"

"Sorry, but th…OUCH! WATCH IT! I still wanna have kids later in life!"

"Uuuugh I can't *breathe*! Ouch, ouch! I can't *move* now! Ugh! I feel like a trapped worm in here! And since when your butt is so big! You're taking all my space! Ugh!"

After a couple of minutes of repositioning, they were finally laying besides each other, butt to butt, in what made a really ridiculous picture. Hadji was laughing out hard now, little tears escaping his eyes. It was obvious they wouldn't hold up that uncomfortable position for much longer and more bickering would follow.

"Ok, ok, this is good enough, I guess…" Jonny's voice was constricted.

"…"

"…Actually, I'm really comfy…"

"…"

"…And my arm is not numb at all… I can still feel my hand even though I'm…"

"Ugh enough Quest! *I* am numb, I feel like a mummy! This is obviously not working. Get off! I wanna see if my arm is still here 'coz I sure as hell can't feel them anymore!"

"Stop moving for cry sake, you're gonna rip my bag! Ouch, *my* kidneys!"

"This ain't your bag anymore, it's *mine*! And *you're* gonna rip it! Watch out my hair, you dummy! Ouch! Stop it! Hadj, help! I think I'm armless!"

"Here, my friends…Let me help you…"

"Hadji, what are you doing? Stop rolling the bag! …Mmmmm!" Jonny's words were silenced as his face became pressed against the puffy floor. …Mmmm..mmm…. What the hell? Hadji, stop rolling us!"

"Hadji, I'm gonna *kill* you, your so…mmmm!" Now it was Jessie's turn to have her yells muffed by the puffy floor as Hadji rolled the bag around it. He seemed like a little boy playing cars, his eyes mesmerized glistening with joyful tears as he smiled from ear to ear.

"I cannot think of a more idiotic idea you two, my friends, ever had… Hahahaha… I simply could not resist to point it out to you in this manner! You look like two fool sausages inside a hotdog bun!"

"HAD…mmmm! STOP IT YOU… MMMMM!"

"MMMM! …Mmmdji you're SO gonna pay for th…mmm!"

"Hahaha…okey, okey… I am sorry my friends, but if you did not see it coming, then you deserved it… Hahaha… That was *too* funny!"

"Ugh I'm so dizzy now… Get your hair outta my mouth, will ya Jess? It's not helping me breathe"

"Ugh, I'm trying… Ok, let me try to roll over my back… With all this spinning I'm almost there…"

"No, I'm rolling over my back! Ouch, ouch, *my* hair!"

"Don't be so whiny, I barely touched your hair! You were pulling mine way harder! Ugh! Don't roll when I'm rolling!"

"Stop moving! I'm almost done! Uuugh!"

"OUCH!" Both Jonny and Jessie yelled as they came face to face and smacked into each other's forehead. After a few seconds of pain, their eyes bulged out as they came to realize they were close, really close to each other. Hadji, whose laughter was slowly dying, suddenly opened a large wry smile on his face seeing their friends. 'And I thought I the amusement was done for the night!'

"Woah, Jess, I know you have the hots for me, but hold it together, woman!"

"…What! What the hell are you talking about? This is *not* what I was going for! I told you to stand still, I was rolling over to get free!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever… Listen, this position is not actually that bad! I mean, I can feel my arms now! Hell, I can feel a lot more!" He added with a little smirk.

"Ughh I can't *believe* you, Quest! Shut up! And stop feeling me up you creep!" She turned her head to her side. "And you, Singh, stop laughing! This ain't funny at all!"

"Gosh, relax Jessie, I was kidding… I'm feeling you but in a good way, you know. Very good, by the way. Come on, you can feel me too! I have no issues with that!" Jonny was grinning madly. Teasing Jessie was so easy!

"I'm so gonna kill you both when this is over… Just shut it, Quest! If you weren't so ridiculously retarded and immature I'd actually say that we could sleep like this, but now it's time for you to get out of my sleeping bag, you creepo!"

"What! Really! Okey, okey, I'll shut now! Please let me stay! Besides, you know I was kidding… And it's so warm and cozy here! I'll get pneumonia and die in 5 minutes out there! Please, I'll behave! See, I'm already falling asleep! Zzzz!"

"Do you *swear* you will behave? And not move? Not an inch?"

"I do! I really do! It'll be like I'm not even here!"

"Okey then, I guess we can try and see if this works… But I *swear*, Quest, if you try anyth…"

"I won't! I'm serious! I'm tired as hell now from all that stupid rolling Hadji got us into! I'm already asleep, see! Zzzz"

"Okey…" Jessie laid her head down on his chest slowly, closing suspiciously first one eye, then the other.

'Oh, no fun!' Hadji thought vexed, his dark brow creased. It lasted only a few seconds, though, as he heard a sound.

"Uh oh, Jessie…"

"Please, *please* tell me you got a pack of Mentos with you"

Jonny was blushing hard and his voice was barely audible. "… Uh… Not… exactly?"

"Eeeeeww! JONATHAN BENTON QUEST, get the hell out of my bag you sick disgusting creep!"

The blond boy's face was so red you'd think he forgot to breathe, which he actually did for a few seconds. Actually, everything stopped for a few seconds.

"Jonny? JONNY! Gosh, I can still *feel* it! Arghh MOVE, QUEST!"

Jonny suddenly snapped out of it. "Okey, okey, I'm leaving! Calm down Jessie, I'm kinda trapped here! Stop hitting me! Arghh I'm leaving!" Hadji was laughing out loud again, real hard.

"Ughh gogogogo! Leave now! Eww take that away from me! Jesus! Wow, finally I can *breathe*!

For a second there Jonny just laid on his back, staring at the tent's ceiling, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

"Oh for cry sake Jonny, take that out of our view! You're such a perv!"

"What? Ohh… Right, okey!" *Down, buddy, down! Most embarrassing moment ever, hands down!*

"JONNYY!"

"I'm trying okey, but it doesn't go away that easy! Besides, this is getting painful! Come on Hadj, help me here!"

Hadji, who was laughing uncontrollably, sobered up immediately. "My friend, I would not help you if my life depended on it!"

"What? Eww Hadj! No way! That's not what I meant! Jesus! Eww! I was talking about… providing me with some mental images to help it go down!" Relief flooded Hadji, who went back to his laughing position.

"Gosh Jonny think about trees and little ponies or anything but just take it out of my view already! I've been traumatized for life!"

"Actually, Jonny, I have something that will really help you… Do you remember last week's Victoria's Secret runaway show on TV with that model, what was her name…Ouch, Jessie!"

"Hadj! Go to hell! This is getting *really* painful!"

"Gee, Hadj, great help! Jonny, think about… Let's see… Surd wearing a thong!"

"Wow, yack! Hell Jessie, you're sick but it's working! Eeww! Thanks! Keep it coming!"

"I remember her name now, my friend, it is Adriana Lima… Soft, voluptuous body of a real angel… and her undergarments, rememb… Ouch! Jessie!" He defended himself still laughing out loud and hard, too entertained to stop.

"Shit, Hadji! I was on my way down! Gee! This *hurts*!"

"Jonny, don't listen to him! Here, think about… Gee, I don't know… hmm, oh, I know! Mrs. Evans! Wearing a thong! Yeah, a gold thong!"

Suddenly Jonny went red. Very red. Redder than before. Hadji stopped laughing for a second and stared at his friend. His face was indeed *really* red. He then looked down. In a second, Hadji was laughing so loud he thought Dr. Quest and Race were going to hear it.

"EEWW Jonny! No way! I can't believe it! MRS. EVANS! Really! Oh my gosh! You're such a creep! She's old enough to be your grandma! Eeewww!"

Jonny was blushing so violently he didn't know what was more painful, the bulge in his pants or his embarrassment.

"Hahahaha this is just *too* funny, stop it, my friend!" Hadji couldn't hold his tears. His abdomen muscles were burning.

"Guys, please…" Jonny voice was so low and embarrassed Jessie and Hadji couldn't do anything but laugh out loud.

"Hahaha I can't believe this! This is really weird, but you're right Hadj, it IS too funny! Hahahaha Jonny, Mrs. Evans, seriously? Imagine when my father hears about that!" She was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face as well.

"WHAT! Oh no, no, please, for the love of all that's holly, please don't say it to Race… He'll never let it go! And guys, this is seriously paining me! Help me already! Please! Jessie, I'll be your bitch for 5 months, please, please, help!"

"Only 5 months? No way, if I'm not telling my father then I wanna at least a year of your services!"

"A year? Gee, I…" The pain was really strong now… "Six months! I'll do everything you ask me for six months!"

"Ten!"

"…Seven!"

"Nine months!"

"…Seven and a half!"

"Eight and a half!"

"…. Shit… Eight months! That's my final offer! Plus you gotta help me now AND if you EVER tell Race OR my father OR Mrs. Evans YOU'll be my bitch for a whole year!"

"…Four months!"

"Eleven!"

"Five!"

"Ten!"

"Six!"

"Nine and a half!"

"Seven and that's my final offer!"

"Shit! Deal! Now HELP!"

"Ok, ok… Picture … hm…. this: Surd rocking his flaccid body in a super tight tiger print banana hammock just for you while he slowly approaches your face with his tongue out, ready to french kiss you and…"

"WOAH, stop already! That was too realistic! You gotta a sick, sick imagination, you know? Gosh, I'll have to do some therapy after this disturbing mental image… Gee…"

"Well, it did help, didn't it?"

"Hey, stop looking! Yeah, it helped alright! The thing is, I don't know it will ever come up again! Gee, that *was* really disturbing!"

"Yeah, I guess it was… Even I was creeped out a little, but it just came to me, you know? Well, never mind… You OWN me, bitch. And the first thing I'm gonna ask is that you remain as far away from as possible, you little perv! And for the love of God, you'll promise me to stay far away from Mrs. Evans, too!"

"Okey, okey… Gosh, it's cold… Hey, Hadj, can I sleep in your bag? It's freezing out here…"

"My friend, as a very wise man once said… 'NO WAY, JOSE!' Especially now that we will have to have an eye out for you and your… uh, distinct preferences… Who knows what else might make little Jonny happy! Ouch!"

"Shut up, Hadj! Gee, I've never wished for Race and Pop to get to us sooner…"

Hadji threw a very malicious look towards Jonny's direction, a small evil grin on his lips. "Oh, me neither, Jonny…"

Jonny eyed him suspiciously, honestly a little afraid. "What was that about, Had…"

*zip*

"HEY KIDS!"

"Daddy!" Jessie jumped on her father, hugging him.

"Hey Ponchita! I missed you!"

"Me too, more than you'll ever know!" *Finally someone normal and not hormonal!*

"Hey Jonny, Hadj!"

"Hi, Race…" The boys replied together, Jonny still suspicious of Hadji, whose grin was even bigger now.

"Hello my sons! Hi Jessie!"

"Hi Dr. Quest!" Jessie was still hung upon her father. She turned around just in time to see Hadji's smug grin.

"Race, Dr. Quest, you will never guess what great discoveries we made today!" Hadji was strangely excited.

"Wo… Hadj… What are you doi…?" Jonny's eyes were getting wider by the second, his heart beating madly.

"Well, my friend, I do not recall making any 'deals' with you… Too bad you forgot there was another witness to your eccentric confessions!"

Realization just hit Jessie, who was smiling fully now. "Hadji, I seriously love you right now. You got all my wishes come true!" Her deal was being kept, after all, as *she* wasn't telling anyone anything. Hadji, on the other hand... Jonny was whiter than a ghost, ready to pass out.

"Kids, what's going on…?"

"Sit down, dad, and Dr. Quest too… Hadji's tale is not for the faint of heart!" And with that Jonny fainted with a loud *thud*, as Jessie and Hadji began to laugh out loud.

The End!


End file.
